When I found out I was pregnant I was really scared. Those of you who know me know that Brea's conception was not under ideal circumstances, but I will not go into further details on that. I knew that I would be raising Brea on my own from the start. Which made it even more terrifying. My friends and family kept telling me that I had options, but I knew that I wanted my baby. One thing I had always wanted was to be a mom! Maybe this was not how I had it planned out in my head, but this was my chance. You see I had questions over whether it was even possible for me to conceive. I had been on Depo-Provera for a prolonged period of time when I was younger. I have since read many stories of people who have had an a really hard time conceiving after using Depo. So while I was scared, I was also happy.
After Brea was born there was absolutely no chance in this world that I made the wrong decision. She is the light of my life!
Before having Brea I was kind of in some sort of limbo. I had a college degree, I worked full time as a registered nurse, but I didn't know how to stop partying. While partying didn't control my life I can say that when it was party time all common sense went out the window. I didn't know how to cut the last few threads connecting me to that wild child teen.
For me the answer was Brea! The party girl is gone now and in her place is Mommy! I would much rather spend my time with Brea than out at the bar drinking the night away. When I do have the chance to go out with some friends a drink or two is plenty. I no longer feel the need to party it up. You see I know that Brea will learn from my actions just as I learned from my mom's (that is another story). I try to live my life in a way that I want Brea to live hers. So party girl is out and responsible mommy is in.